WERE BACK! With a bang… after all it is the 4th of July, get it? (well, it was when I started this) WOW, SO… we apologize for the long absence. Over the past few months, Kelly and I have been falling in unknowing love, finishing school, drinking beer, eating nachos, going to raves, and dating dudes we actually wanted to date; its been a long four months but don’t worry, stories are to follow. Being that this weekend is a celebration of our country’s history (it was, so were gonna pretend this still applies), we thought it would be appropriate to have our first comeback entry be a commemoration of past rendezvous.
Ok. So one particular night a while ago, Kelly and I were looking to get very, very drunk..sloppy drunk, if you will. And what better place to get sloppy drunk, than Bob and Barbara’s? It seemed like a good idea. So we went with Kelly’s friend Andy, who ran into his friend and his friend’s roommate. So let’s go over introductions around the bar: me, Kelly, Andy, his friend, his friend’s roommate. After a few fast and gross specials, Kelly succeeded and won the race to become the drunkest person alive. I on the other hand sat next to her with her back facing me while she laughed it up with Andy, leaving me to stare at no one with boredom written all over my face, not yet drunk. Andy’s friend had left, and because Kelly was hogging up Andy, his friend’s roommate decided to come over and talk to me. Cue the “shiiiiiiit! Here we go….” sound clip…. “I’m sorry I didn’t catch your name earlier.” That’s because I don’t want you to know it. “I’m Erin……” “I’m Eduardo” OOOOOH Eduardo… please go away. This man had very few teeth and many layers of clothing, along with a smell……… Thankfully, those were pretty much the only words that we said to each other until he started RUBBING MY BACK. Um, what??!? Why–what?!? I quickly straightened up and said “UM, no thank you.” No thank you.. good one Er. Boys listen to manners. I know this, because he said sorry, but then thought it would be a good idea to RUB MY INNER THIGH. A stranger rubbed my inner thigh. Jesus, it’s hard for me to get boys I like to rub my inner thigh, although this was not a rub I wanted. It was a very unwelcomed rub because it was from a stranger, who was gross, and was very gross. I grabbed his hand, threw it off me and said “that’s enough”, like I’m fucking J Lo. This is when Eduardo said, “oh sorry” like he had no idea what he was doing, no control over his limbs, weird huh? what a gentleman. He then grabbed his backpack and left. What is great about this whole story is that Kelly saw none of this, had no idea what was happening, what a good lookout. Andy was gentlemen enough to stare at the disaster happening next to him with a watchful eye and as soon as Eduardo left, all he could say was, “He’s not our friend!! We met him off of craigslist! We met him off of CRAIGSLIST!!!”
